Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Kill Me Heal Me OST - Hallucination English Lyrics

English Translation: Popgasa
Song Title: Hallucination
By: Jang Jae In 
Drama: Kill Me Heal Me

There are so many hidden things inside of me
It made me change so much
It put me to sleep, it tied my hands and feet
It trapped me in a dark room

The pieces of lost time
The memories of love that I threw away
They have been deleted and thrown away
Only the outer shells remain

Without knowing anything, I just shouted
I just have that memory
My heart that was cold as ice
It will be forgotten after I sleep

I want to escape from this pain that chains me down
Someone wake me up
From my soul that is filled with scars

The deeply colored night skies
Is filled with you, who won't leave
It wakes me from my sleep
Kissing me again
Your voice that whispered I love you
Your scent, I hear it in my ears every day
Where are you?

You're hidden in a place where I can't see you
The pain you received for me
When my anger becomes one
I'll chase the lost memories from the deep sleep
I want to find the real me that is not you
But the bruises in my heart are too big
I try hiding it but they hide in my heart and wake me up
I met you on the other side of my horrible memories
You embraced even my lost feelings
Helping me get up from being broken
I'm trying not to let go of your hands
I'm trying to erase the nightmares
I'm trying so hard
In this place where I trapped myself

I want to roll up the darkness and find you
Though I can't touch you or be held by you

What controls me
Isn't what lives in me
What can heal me isn't strong medicine
It's just love
The voice I hear in my ears
Wakes me up from being lost
After it wraps around me and kisses me
It disappears and I can't see it anymore

The deeply colored night skies
Is filled with you, who won't leave
It wakes me from my sleep
Kissing me again
Your voice that whispered I love you
Your scent, I hear it in my ears every day
Where are you?

In the night sky that I can't touch
I see you turning back
Making me escape from the exhausted days
Making it into a picture

I'm sorry, I say as I hold on to you
Don't go far away, I call out to you
In the sadness that I can't ever see again
Tears fall again

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Bakit Gusto Kong Magsulat Winner

Hairu mga neenja!!! So eto na, sorry if late na akong nagpost nito...medyo naging busy ang layp ni coach eh. But then again, kahit busy ako masyado hindi ko pa rin kayo matiis! Anywoot, di ba may pacontest ako sa Wattpad ko? Yep. Tingnan mo sa HANGOUT NG MGA NEENJA book ko sa Wattpad. Dun ko kinompile mga updates at tips ng pagsusulat.

Syempre dahil may pacontest ako, ibig sabihin meron talagang winner! At yan ay walang iba kundi si AMBERZELIN!

So eto pala ang entry ni AMBERZELIN. BAASAA~

Bakit Gusto Kong Magsulat?

Noon ang rason ko sa sarili ko kung bakit ako nagsusulat ay dahil wala lang, dahil gusto ko lang. To me, writing didn't have that much bearing, for me writing was just a way to pass through a boring day. Nagsusulat lang ako noon dahil wala akong magawa. It was my way of getting myself out of boredom. But that was before I went to college.

In college I have to live in a new environment, somewhat different from what I'm used to. And I got to meet new people who didn't have a clue of who I am. Andun ako sa process na pangangapa. Hindi ako yung loner kid nang first day sa college, isa ako dun sa grupong nambulabog ng katahimikan nong araw. Salamat sa Facebook, I got to befriend some blockmates before school started, so I wasn't exactly a loner. Magtataka ka siguro kung ano ang kinalaman ng college life ko sa paghahanap ng rason kung bakit ako nagsusulat, kung bakit gusto kong magsulat.

Well, here it is.

May isang taong biglang nagparealize sa akin na "I have trust issues". Actually I have too many issues. Mahirap mang aminin pero totoo. It may seem that I trust you pero may mga bagay na itatago ko sayo. Ganon akong tao, and I hate it when people are trying to break those barriers that I've built myself in. One time tinanong niya ako kung meron akong diary, nagtaka ako kung bakit and then he explained to me, "You're very secretive and I just wanted to know where you keep all those thoughts of yours."

And then it hit me. Wattpad.

So I started browsing through my stories, I started reading them and I realized something.

Kung papansinin yung stories ko, it's all about fictional creatures that may or may not be real, but plots. Now that's a different story. No I am not trying to plug any of my stories here, I'm just trying to explain something that I've tried so hard to realize. Isang bagay na mahirap aminin sa part ko, pero as a part of moving on from that stage, I want to share it.

My plots are about people getting socially rejected, I was writing about people not trusting others with what they know and how they felt. About people doubting their capabilities and about people trying so hard to put up a happy smile through everything they've been through. I was writing about people who were standing up for what they believe in, and people trying to be strong for the future.

Believe me or not, I was shocked to literally that come through the pages of my story.

Yes I was socially rejected (before my 2nd year in high school where I found my clique, Iisang school lang ang inatendan ko ever since preparatory school hanggang high school), I tried to fit in to people who probably didn't really want me. I've always doubted what I can do and never really had the guts to stand up for what I wanted. I was basically writing about what I felt, and what I wanted to be.

At ngayon siguro masasagot ko na yung tanong na "bakit gusto kong magsulat?"

I am Zelina, seventeen years old at isang BS Psychology student. Isang course na hindi ko kailan man naisip na papasukan ko. Pero it served me well. At nagsusulat ako dahil ito ang paraan ko paglabas ng totoong ako, dahil dito ko nasasabi ang gusto kong sabihin, dito ko nagagawa ang mga gusto kong sabihin, dito ko nagagawa ang mga gusto kong gawin. Dahil dito ako masaya.

Yay, na touched talaga ako nito. Anyway, dahil nanalo ka Zelina, eto ang premyong book mo! Ipapadala ko na sayo to eh.