So eto pala ang entry ni AMBERZELIN. BAASAA~
Bakit Gusto Kong Magsulat?
Noon ang rason ko sa sarili ko kung bakit ako nagsusulat ay dahil wala lang, dahil gusto ko lang. To me, writing didn't have that much bearing, for me writing was just a way to pass through a boring day. Nagsusulat lang ako noon dahil wala akong magawa. It was my way of getting myself out of boredom. But that was before I went to college.
In college I have to live in a new environment, somewhat different from what I'm used to. And I got to meet new people who didn't have a clue of who I am. Andun ako sa process na pangangapa. Hindi ako yung loner kid nang first day sa college, isa ako dun sa grupong nambulabog ng katahimikan nong araw. Salamat sa Facebook, I got to befriend some blockmates before school started, so I wasn't exactly a loner. Magtataka ka siguro kung ano ang kinalaman ng college life ko sa paghahanap ng rason kung bakit ako nagsusulat, kung bakit gusto kong magsulat.
Well, here it is.
May isang taong biglang nagparealize sa akin na "I have trust issues". Actually I have too many issues. Mahirap mang aminin pero totoo. It may seem that I trust you pero may mga bagay na itatago ko sayo. Ganon akong tao, and I hate it when people are trying to break those barriers that I've built myself in. One time tinanong niya ako kung meron akong diary, nagtaka ako kung bakit and then he explained to me, "You're very secretive and I just wanted to know where you keep all those thoughts of yours."
And then it hit me. Wattpad.
So I started browsing through my stories, I started reading them and I realized something.
Kung papansinin yung stories ko, it's all about fictional creatures that may or may not be real, but plots. Now that's a different story. No I am not trying to plug any of my stories here, I'm just trying to explain something that I've tried so hard to realize. Isang bagay na mahirap aminin sa part ko, pero as a part of moving on from that stage, I want to share it.
My plots are about people getting socially rejected, I was writing about people not trusting others with what they know and how they felt. About people doubting their capabilities and about people trying so hard to put up a happy smile through everything they've been through. I was writing about people who were standing up for what they believe in, and people trying to be strong for the future.
Believe me or not, I was shocked to literally that come through the pages of my story.
Yes I was socially rejected (before my 2nd year in high school where I found my clique, Iisang school lang ang inatendan ko ever since preparatory school hanggang high school), I tried to fit in to people who probably didn't really want me. I've always doubted what I can do and never really had the guts to stand up for what I wanted. I was basically writing about what I felt, and what I wanted to be.
At ngayon siguro masasagot ko na yung tanong na "bakit gusto kong magsulat?"
I am Zelina, seventeen years old at isang BS Psychology student. Isang course na hindi ko kailan man naisip na papasukan ko. Pero it served me well. At nagsusulat ako dahil ito ang paraan ko paglabas ng totoong ako, dahil dito ko nasasabi ang gusto kong sabihin, dito ko nagagawa ang mga gusto kong sabihin, dito ko nagagawa ang mga gusto kong gawin. Dahil dito ako masaya.
Yay, na touched talaga ako nito. Anyway, dahil nanalo ka Zelina, eto ang premyong book mo! Ipapadala ko na sayo to eh.
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